June 2008

In this newsletter:

1) Fast Help: Self-Help Resources
2) Therapist Q&A: Conflict Resolution
3) Reading Recommendations
4) Clinic Announcements

1) Fast Help: Self-Help Resources

As therapists, we often refer clients to additional resources that may be of assistance to them. A recent edition of Family Therapy Magazine (November/December 2007) shared a very comprehensive list of self-help resources for many different issues. We thought it would be helpful to share those as well as some additional resources with you here. We welcome any feedback you may have on the usefulness of the sites, as well as any additions you would add.

AIDS.ORG http://www.aids.org/
ALANON/ALATEEN: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org
ALANON WAUKESHA: http://www.area61afg.org/Waukesha.html
ALANON MILWAUKEE: http://www.area61afg.org/Milwaukee.html
ALANON ELM GROVE: http://www.area61afg.org/ElmGrove.html
ALANON WAUWATOSA: http://www.area61afg.org/Wauwatosa.html
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS http://www.aa.org
ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION http://www.alz.org
AMERICAN PAIN FOUNDATION http://www.painfoundation.org
ANGER MANAGEMENT http://www.angermgmt.com
ANXIETY DISORDERS ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA http://www.adaa.org
AUTISM SOCIETY OF AMERICA http://www.autism-society.org
CHILD AND ADOLESCENT BIPOLAR FOUNDATION http://www.bpkids.org
CHILDREN AND ADULTS WITH ATTENTION DEFICIT/HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER http://www.chadd.org
COCAINE ANONYMOUS http://www.cawisconsin.org
DEATH AND DYING http://www.pbs.org/wnet/onourownterms/index.html
DEPRESSION http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat.adfacts.cfm
DEPRESSION AND BIPOLAR SUPPORT ALLIANCE http://www.dbsalliance.org
DIVORCE http://www.divorceonline.com or http://www.collabdivorce.com
EPILEPSY FOUNDATION http://www.efa.org
FEDERATION OF FAMILIES FOR CHILDREN’S MENTAL HEALTH http://www.ffcmh.org
MENTAL HEALTH AMERICA http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net
MENTAL HEALTH ASSOCIATION OF MILWAUKEE COUNTY http://www.mhamilw.org
MENTAL HEALTH ASSOCIATION OF WAUKESHA COUNTY http://www.mhawauk.org
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS http://www.na.org
NATIONAL ALLIANCE ON MENTAL ILLNESS http://www.nami.org
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF ANOREXIA NERVOSA AND ASSOCIATED DISORDERS http://www.anad.org
NATIONAL COALITION OF MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS AND CONSUMERS, INC. http://www.thenationalcoalition.org
THE NATIONAL FAMILY CAREGIVERS ASSOCIATION http://www.thefamilycaregiver.org
NATIONAL HOSPICE AND PALLIATIVE CARE ORGANIZATION http://www.nhpco.org
NATIONAL MENTAL HEALTH CONSUMERS’ SELF-HELP CLEARINGHOUSE http://www.mhselfhelp.org
NATIONAL PARKINSON FOUNDATION, INC. http://www.parkinson.org
NATIONAL STROKE ASSOCIATION http://www.stroke.org
NORTH AMERICAN COUNCIL ON ADOPTIVE CHILDREN http://www.nacac.org
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE FOUNDATION, INC. http://www.ocfoundation.org
PARENTING WITH LOVE AND LOGIC http://www.loveandlogic.com
PERSONALITY DISORDERS http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=8
RAPE, ABUSE & INCEST NATIONAL NETWORK http://www.rainn.org
RECOVERY, INC. http://www.recovery-inc.org
SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION http://www.health.msw.org or http://www.rickmd.com/probindx.htm
SUBSTANCE ABUSE http://www.ncadi.samhsa.gov/
SUICIDE PREVENTION ACTION NETWORK USA http://www.spanusa.org
TOURETTE SYNDROME ASSOCIATION http://www.tsa-usa.org

2) Therapist Q&A: Conflict resolution

I have difficulty dealing with conflict. Can you speak to ways of resolving conflict.

Conflict is one of those difficult issues that we all have to face in life, whether in personal relationships, at work, or within ourselves. Conflict is very uncomfortable for many people. These people oftentimes ignore the conflict until the issue becomes out of hand and then often will deal with the issue in an unhealthy way (such as aggressiveness). Even though conflict is oftentimes uncomfortable, it can be a great avenue for growth within oneself and with our relationships with others. In any case, it is important to also understand what the conflict brings up in you (i.e. If you have experienced similar conflict with others in the past and this is a pattern repeating itself) as well as past unsuccessful attempts in the past at conflict resolution or an underlying belief that your needs are not important. Effective communication techniques will assist in succeeding at conflict resolution. Attempting to listen to, understand, and summarize the other’s point of view will help you to better come to a resolution. Negotiation and looking for a win-win solution to the problem shows mutual respect and will aid in resolving a conflict. Mediation with a trained mediator would be an avenue to consider with very difficult conflict situations. Assertiveness training can be of great assistance in terms of learning practical skills of communication to address conflict with others. Psychotherapy can help to address the underlying issues and increase your inner confidence so that you are better prepared to handle conflict when it arises. If you have difficulty addressing conflict in your life, call on us today so that we may help you take the next step to feeling good about yourself and your relationships.

3) Reading Recommendations

Mary Hargarten, LCSW, LMFT recommends:

Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning
This is a very thorough look at the issue of low self-esteem which is often a piece of the depression and anxiety our clients experience. It talks about ways to disarm your inner critic, cognitive distortions that perpetuate low self-esteem, how to develop self-esteem in children and many other issues around self-esteem. I believe there is a companion workbook that can also be used to do exercises around self-esteem.

After the Affair by Janis Abrahms Spring
I think this is an excellent book to recommend to couples struggling to restore their relationship after an affair. The thing I like most about it is that it looks at the issue from both points of view - from the point of view of the person that cheated and from the point of view of the person that was cheated on. Couples I have recommended it to have found it very helpful in helping them try and understand the other person's point of view.

Lifemates: The Love Fitness Program for a Lasting Relationship by Harold Bloomfield and Sirah Vettese
This book has many good exercises for couples to use to revitalize their relationship. I especially like the “Heart Talks" that encourage deeper and deeper levels of sharing for the couple.

The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
John Gottman has done a lot of scientifically-verifiable work on the characteristics of relationships that work and relationships that don't work. He gives very practical advice on things to incorporate into your relationship to make it stronger. He also discusses very clear things to avoid which are often red flags for problems down the road.

I Hate You - Don't Leave Me Understanding Borderline Personality by Jerold Kreisman
For anyone working with or in a relationship with someone with borderline personality disorder, this does a good job of helping you understand the person. It also offers help with learning how to cope with them and their violent mood swings, chronic depression and self-destructive tendencies.

We welcome the titles and authors of any appropriate books you have found to be particularly useful. We may then share them in this newsletter and on our website (your name will be withheld for confidentiality purposes). If you have a book you'd like to share, please send the title, author, and a brief description to cpa@wi.rr.com.

4) Clinic News

We are accepting new clients at this time. If you know anyone who you think would benefit from counseling or a consultation with us, please have him or her give us a call. We thank you in advance for any referrals you provide.