“A Shelter for Sadness,” by Anne Booth & David Litchfield
In my 35 years as a psychotherapist, I have consistently noticed that many people are uncomfortable in the presence of the strong, difficult emotions of others. Sadness is one of…
Books
by therapist Martha Jackson Oppeneer, D.Min., LMFT.
In this section of our website, Martha selects insightful books covering important topics such as parenting, relationships, health, and well-being.
We are excited to introduce the latest selection below.
“A Shelter for Sadness”
by Anne Booth & David Litchfield
In my 35 years as a psychotherapist, I have consistently noticed that many people are uncomfortable in the presence of the strong, difficult emotions of others. Sadness is one of these emotions. When we do not know how to cope with the emotional state of another person, we too often try to make it “go away” by being dismissive. This is especially problematic for children, who need to learn how to identify, express and process the full range of their emotions. This is a beautifully written and illustrated book that helps children discover how to make space for sadness without becoming engulfed by it.
Previous Book Reviews
Children's Books
“Just Ask: Be Different, Be Brave, Be You,” by Sonia Sotomayor, illustrated by Rafael Lopez
This New York Times #1 bestseller is a beautifully-illustrated children’s book, authored by Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, who has spent much of her life living with diabetes. Feeling different…
“The Smart Cookie,” by Jory John and Pete Oswald
This is a fun, delightfully illustrated children’s book that teaches kids about confidence and urges them to find their own special skills. This can be a particularly helpful resource for neurodivergent…
“I AM PEACE: A Book of Mindfulness,” by Susan Verde, with artwork by Peter H. Reynolds
In the spirit of the season (peace on earth), this beautiful children’s book seemed like a timely choice. Through simple storytelling and evocative artwork, this book helps children learn to manage…
“A Last Goodbye,” by Elin Kelsey, artwork by Soyeon Kim
This is a beautifully written and illustrated book for children that can help guide them through the grief process, whether they are coping with the loss of a relative or…
“The Big Cheese,” by Jori John & Pete Oswald
This is a delightful children’s book that is one in a series of seven books, each teaching important lessons in humorous and compelling ways. The Big Cheese is the best…
“Ruby Finds a Worry” by Tom Percival
This is a book for children – a powerful, beautifully-illustrated exploration of feelings. The main character, Ruby, “finds” a worry, notices how it grows from day to day, and learns…
“Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls” by Elena Favilli and Francesca Cavallo
This was recommended by a client with two young girls, who is raising them to be strong and confident in a society that too often lacks healthy female role models…
“What Does It Mean to Be Present” by Rana DiOrio, illustrated by Eliza Wheeler
This is a delightful, well-illustrated children’s book that introduces kids to the concept of approaching activities mindfully: noticing when someone needs help, waiting patiently, learning to focus on what is…
“Breathe like a Bear: 30 Mindful Moments for Kids to Feel Calm and Focused Anytime, Anywhere” by Kira Willey
This is an ideal resource for parents/caregivers and kids to do together. Drawing from the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction discipline, this book offers mindful exercises and beautiful illustrations that will…
Parenting Books
“Getting Ahead of ADHD: What Next-Generation Science Says about Treatments that Work, and How You Can Make Them Work for Your Child,” by Joel T. Nigg, Ph.D.
Most of us are confronted with an onslaught of pseudoscience, and struggle to make sense of it. For parents who are dealing with the challenge of a neurodivergent child, pseudoscience preys…
“Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A guide to Daily Happiness for Kids.”
Written by Carol McCloud, illustrated by David Messing Using the simple metaphor of a bucket and a dipper, the author illustrates that kindness can not only fill the buckets of…
“Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents” (Fourth Edition), by Russell Barkley, Ph.D.
Barkley guides his readers through the challenge of understanding why kids with ADHD act as they do, getting an accurate diagnosis, working with school and health care professionals to get…
“Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming The Parent You Want to Be,” By Dr. Becky Kennedy
Dr. Becky’s mission in life is to help parents connect with kids in a way that recognizes and builds upon their fundamental goodness. Her approach does not involve shaping kids…
“No Drama Discipline” by Dan Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.
This title is available in a book as well as an accompanying workbook. If you only have time for the workbook, that will provide much of the information you need.…
“Bottom Line for Baby: From Sleep Training to Screens, Thumb Sucking to Tummy Time – What the Science Says” by Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.
Dr. Bryson is a Clinical Psychologist who specializes in the art and science of child raising. In this book, she addresses each issue using a three-step approach: an objective summary…
“Weird Parenting Wins: Bathtub Dining, Family Screams, and Other Hacks from the Parenting Trenches,” by Hillary Frank
Parenting expert Hillary Frank compiles hundreds of suggestions from parents in this helpfully entertaining book. While it does not offer a parenting road map, it will encourage you to be…
“Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain” by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.
Dr. Siegel identifies 3 myths about adolescents that sabotage parenting styles and inhibit the positive growth experiences of adolescents: 1) Adolescents are immature; 2) Adolescent behavior can be explained by…
“How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success” by Julie Lythcott-Haims
Parents are stressed. Kids are stressed. Yet, we continue to encourage and support methods of parenting that are exhausting and unsustainable, and that do not adequately prepare children for adulthood.…
The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness
by Jonathan Haidt, Ph.D. This is a “must read” for parents, teachers and school administrators, mental health providers, and anyone else working with children and adolescents. Jon Haidt is a social…
Relationship Books
“All the Rage,” by Darcy Lockman
For years, I’ve heard my female clients say they feel as if they are the “Project Manager” for the home, while their husband/male partner is their employee; the person standing…
“Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love,” by Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel Heller, Ph.D.
Neuropsychiatrist Amir Levine and Psychologist Rachel Heller have teamed up to explain how our attachment styles can either help us navigate relationships with ease, or cause struggles. Offering tools that help…
“The Man’s Guide to Women: Scientifically Proven Secrets from the “Love Lab” About What Women Really Want,” by John Gottman, Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D., Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D.
A great philosopher once said, “Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color nine.” Clearly, this “great philosopher” did not have a very good teacher. We truly can understand…
“Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Susan Johnson, Ph.D.
Summary: Susan Johnson is a renowned couples’ therapist who has created an approach that enjoys a remarkably high rate of success. In “Hold Me Tight,” Dr. Johnson teaches readers that…
“Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family” by Karyl McBride, Ph.D.
Summary: While this book should probably come with a cautionary note to avoid diagnosing another person – especially a spouse or ex-spouse – with narcissism, the author provides critically important…
“Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by John Gottman, Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D., Doug Abrams & Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D.
Summary: Researcher and clinician, John Gottman, is widely regarded as a world expert on the topic of what makes relationships work. Teaming up with three other researchers, they have written…
“Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence” by Esther Perel, Ph.D.
Summary: Renowned psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist, Esther Perel, does a brilliant job of highlighting the tension between our desire for domesticity in marriage and our longing for excitement and…
Healing and Personal Growth books
“The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World,” by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu
I featured this book a few years ago, but it is such a challenging and important topic that I am bringing it around again…. A frequent topic in my therapy…
“Notes on Being A Man,” by Scott Galloway
I am typically in the midst of reading half a dozen books at a time, laboring under the illusion that I can learn everything, all at once. So when a…
“Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence,” by Anna Lembke, M.D.
We live in a time in which finding a “dopamine hit” is not just tempting, but incredibly easy. Our brains are designed to seek high-reward activities in the form of…
“Mindfulness Journal for Mental Health,” by Elizabeth Cronin, PsyD
Stress is integral to the experience of being alive. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to find healthy, creative ways to recognize and cope with it. Mindfulness has gained popular…
“Bright-Sided,” by Barbara Ehrenreich
“Positive thinking” has become a hallmark of our culture. If we just “think positive,” good things will happen to us. Despite the lack of empirical evidence, we hold fast to the hope…
“The War for Kindness: Building Empathy In A Fractured World” by Jamil Zaki
This book weaves science and stories together, examining why we struggle to understand people who aren’t like us, but find it easy to hate them. Research on the phenomenon of…
“Resilient Grieving,” by Lucy Hone, Ph.D.
Hone is an expert in the field of resilience and psychological well-being, who had the opportunity to test the helpfulness of her theories when her 12-year-old daughter was killed in…
“The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma” by Bessel Van der Kolk, M.D.
Trauma is a fact of life. Most lives are touched by trauma to some degree. This book explores the ways in which trauma literally reshapes both the body and brain,…
“The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom” by Jonathan Haidt
Jonathan Haidt is a brilliant and engaging Social Psychologist who combines ancient wisdom with scientific research to study how the mind works. Have you ever wondered why you have difficulty…
“The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science” by Norman Doidge, M.D.
Scientists once thought the fully-developed adult brain was unchangeable. This has not turned out to be the case. The science of “neuroplasticity” is demonstrating that our brains have the ability…
Health & Miscellaneous
“Food Intelligence,” by Julia Belluz and Kevin Hall
“Nutrition isn’t rocket science; it’s harder.” There are always new diet fads, bold claims about superfoods and articles promising the secrets to lasting weight-loss and longevity. The more ‘expert’ advice…
“It Doesn’t Have to Hurt: How Cutting Edge Science and Good Habits Can Stop the Hurt,” by Sanjay Gupta, M.D.
Despite the recommendations others, I resisted reading this book because I’m suspicious of any physician who makes the rounds of the talk show circuits, or who seems to be too…
“Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why it Matters, and How to Harness It,” by Ethan Kross, Ph.D.
Creating psychological distance from our thoughts doesn’t solve our problems, but it does increase the possibility that we will be able to do so at some point. When we zoom in…
“Fragile Neighborhoods: Repairing American Society One Zip Code at a Time,” by Seth D. Kaplan
While this might seem to be an unusual choice for a mental health newsletter, our current level of social isolation is actually considered a mental health crisis. We tend to view…
The Invisible Kingdom: Reimagining Chronic Illness,” by Meghan O’Rourke
How do you respond when you develop a devastating illness, but know you will never be able to present a “success story” (an account of triumphing over adversity and regaining…
“Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism,” by Barry M. Prizant, Ph.D
Summary: For anyone whose life has been touched by autism – whether through a family member, friend or coworker – this book offers a profound and compassionate glimpse into the…
“Why We Sleep: unlocking the power of sleep and dreams,” by Matthew Walker, Ph.D.
Summary: When I discovered this book, I was intimidated by the length (nearly 400 pages, or 14 hours of listening time on Audible), figuring it would be a snooze (sorry,…
“The Telomere Effect: A Revolutionary Approach to Living Younger, Healthier, Longer,” by Elizabeth Blackburn, PhD, and Elissa Epel, PhD.
Summary: This is a groundbreaking book coauthored by the Nobel Prize winner who discovered telomerase and telomeres’ role in the aging process, and a health psychologist who has done original…
“Secrets From The Eating Lab” by Traci Mann, Ph.D.
Summary: When it comes to nutrition and health, everyone is an expert. Unfortunately for us, most of the information shared is either misleading or wrong. Psychologist Traci Mann of the…
“Ultra-Processed People: The Science Behind Food That Isn’t Food,” by Chris van Tulleken, M.D., Ph.D.
Summary: I offer this book with the disclaimer that I am not a nutritionist, and have no training in nutrition science. But I vetted it carefully, and recommend it based upon…
Games and Activities
“We! Connect Cards: Create Conversations that Matter”
“We! Connect” is a tiny little box of cards packed with potential. Each card asks a question, which can be answered by the person selecting the card, or by everyone…
“Where Should We Begin? A game of stories,” by Esther Perel, Ph.D.
Psychologist Esther Perel has spent her career helping couples understand and energize the love they share. She is a prolific author and speaker, but now offers her insights in the…
“BE MINDFUL: Card Deck for Teens”
This is a deck of 50 laminated cards that offer suggestions for living more mindfully; worrying less about the past or the future and learning to live in the present…
Talking Point: 200 conversation cards (available for kids, teens and families), created by Ben Jones
What is happening to our relationships? This is a frequently-asked question as we all become increasingly buried in various forms of technology. Our wellbeing is profoundly connected to our ability…
“Bright Spots Thoughts and Feelings: A Sentence Completion Card Game,” by Elizabeth Wornham
The creator of this game (suitable for ages 5 and up) is a Marriage & Family Therapist with expertise in play therapy. “Bright Spots” helps parents, teachers and mental health professionals…
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